Those times of abject pain are the best times, because at least she knows she can still feel something after her brother’s suicide. She’s not remotely herself, but she can’t cry anymore and she’s numb, except for the times where she feels like her insides are a hollow pit. Not feeling sad would ordinarily be a good thing, but in this case she’s not happy either. I think these things make the book lighter in some ways, easier to digest, but also darker.Lex hardly feels sad when The Last Time We Say Goodbye begins.
These things are present in The Last Time We Say Goodbye. I like my emotion cloaked in sarcasm or hidden beneath an inability to parse emotions. I despise sentiment, and sometimes that’s what the so-called issue books are. Which almost always ended up killing them in spite of the doctors’ good intentions, I might point out.It’s that joke there at the end that told me this would be the sort of sad book that I could handle. He thinks I’m having trouble expressing my feelings, which is why he suggested I write in a journal-to get it out, he said, like in the old days when physicians used to bleed their patients in order to drain the mysterious poisons. Here’s the first paragraph, so you can see why:First I’d like to state for the record that the whole notion of writing this down was not my idea. This means that the book grabbed me on the first page the first paragraph told me that I’d be reading the whole novel now. There’s a reason, though, that Hand’s Unearthly, despite not being my thing plot-wise grabbed me years ago. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to read it eventually, but I figured I’d give the egalley a couple of pages, and I’d DNF it with every intention to come back to it if it didn’t grab me. The Last Time We Say Goodbye seems to me almost a character study of dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.Since I wasn’t in the mood for a darker contemporary, I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to read The Last Time We Say Goodbye. Because this is the only way I know to reach for you.” In just those lines, I feel pain and heartbreak.
As soon as I hit the dedication, which I usually skip, I knew that The Last Time We Say Goodbye would be an incredibly sad book.
Whatever the circumstances, I’ll always be hoping for swoons.
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